The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want.
It makes me lie down on the sofa.
It leads me away from faith, it destroys my soul.
It leads me in the path of sex and violence for the sponsor's sake.
Yea, though I walk in the shadow of Christian responsibilities,
there will be no interruption, for the TV is with me.
It's cable and remote control, they comfort me.
It prepares a commercial for me in the presence of my worldliness.
It anoints my head with humanism and consumerism, my coveting runneth over.
Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house watching TV forever.